State of the Goonion: The Final Solution
25th July 2006
Remedial’s Speech

If you’ve just joined us it’s okay to record this, because I don’t give a shit if D2 hears this or not. 
In fact, I’d rather they hear it so they know we’re fucking coming for them.

I posted a thread probably a week or so ago, it was called “Concentrated Hate”, in it I had a bunch of 
quotes from D2, BoB, Mercenary Coalition, all these people who had an opinion on Goonfleet. I want to 
read three of those quotes real quick before we begin:

Even considering Goons to be a powerhouse is just ridiculous. All they’ve shown so far is how to fill 
everyone’s kill boards with their ships.

Here’s another:

Goonies will collapse as soon as they get bogged down against a small, well-skilled and able corporate 
alliance. Once they’re bogged down in war they will collapse in on themselves and simply fall apart.

Here’s the last one:

It takes ten vagabonds to wipe out anything they could ever put together.

All of those quotes came from a thread called “Goons: The New Rise of Power” with a question mark. It was 
posted June sixteenth, 2006. Right now it’s five weeks later and we’ve turned the world’s opinion of 
Goonswarm on its head. No longer do people underestimate our resolve and our ability and compete head-to-head 
with the most powerful alliances in the game. They will eventually forget that just weeks ago they dismissed 
us as hopeless and useless, another fucking collection of newbies who couldn’t stand up against a strong 
alliance even in their own space. But the important thing is we will not forget.

Part of the reason we picked D2 as targets in this war was because they lived conveniently next door, 
they had nice land they weren’t using, they didn’t have a lot of defences on it, and when we went exploring 
we could shoot their station. But the largest reason, and the reason and the reason that drives me is 
because deep down I delight in causing misery to D2 because they are the prototypical internet bullies 
and I think you all know that too.

Those quotes I read earlier, all of those were from people who were or are in D2. They’ve baited us, 
they’ve jeered at us, they’ve laughed at us, and taunted us in front of the entire EVE community on the 
forums. In game they’ve sent gank squads to Syndicate to live with our newbies and kill them when they felt 
like a few cheap fucking laughs. They mocked us in local all throughout the Syndicate defence campaign.

And then we moved to XZH and showed them we could fight by killing hundreds of battleships, by slaughtering 
a dozen capital ships, by enduring their assaults with bitter grins on our faces they stopped mocking. But 
they didn’t stop to shake our hand and congratulate us; they stopped because they started petitioning 
everything they could.

At least four innocent Goons have been banned for up to eight days since the beginning of this conflict for 
the Jerushies of D2 spamming petitions at us whenever they loose ships. Lag, bookmarks, saying “fofofo” in 
local, anything they could possibly petition they do and they did.

The reason they do this is because they’re bullies. When a bully can no longer kick sand in your face, when 
a bully picks on the wrong kid for once and gets his teeth punched in he cries to the teacher. Bullies can’t 
take something standing up to their authority and calling their bluff. And D2 are bluffing, and we’re calling 
it every single day we’re here. We are a testament to their inability to deal with Goonswarm and everybody 
can see it.

I ask every Goon to be there this weekend when we finish D2 in Cloud Ring. We need to put in the hours, to 
wake up early, to go to bed late, to do whatever it takes to keep that camp up and our dreads safe while we 
work over their POSs one-by-one until there is nothing left to kill.

This is our time now; it is the age of Goonswarm. They cannot beat us, because deep down we know they are a 
hundred per cent full of shit. They want us to believe they can throw BS after BS at us. They want us to 
believe the have infinite capital ships, and they’ve posted that, you know, they can just create thirty capital 
ships at will and it doesn’t matter how many we kill. They want us to believe they can spam POSs at us forever. 
They want us to believe their kill boards are accurate and they don’t lie and if they kill enough frigates it 
doesn’t matter how many T2 battleships they loose. But deep down we know it’s not true.

They’re falling apart on the inside. They cannot afford to loose capital ships because every week they send less 
at us. They cannot afford to keep spamming towers because until yesterday they hadn’t put up another tower in XZH 
for two weeks. And we know that they’re vulnerable and that they can’t just keep this up because they die just as 
fast as Cruel Intentions, Black Range Syndicate, Galactic Aurora, and Supremacy used to, and every other two-bit 
faggot bunch of whiners that thought we were chumps and pushovers and that they could walk all over us. They can’t 
do that anymore because we’re stronger than they are. We don’t’ have to pussyfoot around on the forums anymore 
because we have the numbers, we have the dedication, and we have the willpower to overcome them. And BoB, and 
everyone else who wants a piece of the Goon pie.

I say let them come for us, because this weekend we’re going to slaughter every single one of their towers and 
wipe this region clean of the taint of D2, and give everyone in the world something to think about when they think 
about Goonswarm. They’re not going to consider us newbies after this; they’re going to consider us fucking monsters, 
and monsters eat bullies.

I want to see every single one of you guys to be there, I want to see every single last Goon on that gate camp from 
Thursday to Sunday. We can make this happen. I bet that everybody in EVE thinks that we’re just a bunch of pushovers, 
that we’re not going to be able to make it, that if it comes down to a fight that D2, if they pull out all their capitals, 
all their carriers, their mothership and their dreads, that, you know, we couldn’t be able to stand up against this. 
This is our chance to prove them wrong. 

If we win this, and we can, I really believe this will break D2’s spine. They won’t be able to say to their members, 
“Just hold on another week because they’re about to collapse from the inside.” We know that they will be the ones to 
collapse from the inside.

I say it is the age of Goonswarm tonight and our destiny is looming in front of us.

I ask that everybody be there. We will have hundreds of allies there, we have spent more money on mercenaries than most 
of you will ever have in your entire carriers in EVE. We have: our very great allies 3FA, we have TFC, we have ERA coming 
up, ASCN will be sending battleships, we have Alektorophobia, we have SMASH, we have about four other mercenary corporations 
that I can’t even remember the names of. 

We are going to put fifty medium bubbles up on that 9-4 gate in XZH and camp it for a hundred hours straight, basically. 
It will take about that long to siege every one of their POSs they have in Cloud Ring, but when we are done they will all 
be dead and gone and we will have sovereignty over every single system here, and this place will be our new home.

We will keep Syndicate, of course, Syndicate will always be ours. But XZH will be ours as well, and I invite you all to be 
a part of this. 

I am angry because I consider D2 to be like the worst sort of gamer. One who play Counter Strike and they lose complain 
about the other guy hacking. When they play fucking WarCraft III or StarCraft they’re the guys who quit as soon as they 
see a rush. If they can’t win on their terms they don’t want to play this game. So I say fuck it, make it so they don’t 
play this game. If we have to ruin their experience for them, to get them to quit, to get them to break down and cry and 
admit they’re not good enough by fucking camping them into a corner for a hundred hours straight, I say we do it.

We descend to the level of monster here, let them fucking come for us because we will kill them.